Dances With Dustmops

Welcome back summer?!?!?

Of course this is my fault -- this weekend I put my summer clothes away and took out the fall/winter selection and POOF it's summer again. You can send your thank you notes to me any time now.

Not only did I switch out my "wardrobe" I rearranged the furniture in my bedroom. I've been wanting to do that for quite a while but kept thinking that it was a waste of time if I was going to be leaving here. But I decided I will be here for a while and I might as well enjoy myself.

I can't believe how many socks I found when I moved furniture. And I didn't find dust bunnies, I found killer dust buffaloes roaming the Hirsch prairie. And at times it was less roaming and more stampede. It was like that scene from Dances With Wolves except Kevin Costner didn't show up and no animals were harmed in the cleaning of my room.

So it's going to be a nice day -- go forth and party.

Happy Birthday Geri

Last night I went to a celebration for my friend Geri's birthday (which is today). I won't say which one but she is older than me and that's what is really important. Okay I'll give you a hint -- if she was dyslexic it would be her 16th birthday. That's all I'm going to say.

Two of the people at the party were friends she made on the bus -- two different routes. That's Geri -- while the rest of us sit on the bus and try to pretend no one else is there, Geri makes friends for life. She has that gift to make friends everywhere. Now at times this is a curse like when she made friends with the guy at the parking lot and then started dating him and he eventually told her he learned all his love making skills from Satan. Or the time she went to a party and ended up driving home in the dead of winter wearing nothing but a shirt and her date's boxer shorts. Or the time she went on a ski trip with a singles group and some guy kept spying on her from behind a potted plant (and by the way she doesn't ski). Or the friend who told her that about some worm hole in Mexico and the end of times. Or, or, or .... I could go on and on. Let's just say Geri has a way with people. So Happy Birthday my friend thanks for letting me be part of your crazy life -- I'm enjoying the ride.

Run Mary Run -- Yeah Right

Well this Sunday is the 30th Twin Cities Marathon and darn it all to H-E-double Hockey Sticks I forgot to register -- AGAIN. In fact I've forgotten to register for 30 years. I remember one year I watched the marathon and was so inspired I thought I would spend the year training and the next year I would be a sleek running machine -- well, it didn't quite happen.

I have a couple of friends who have run in the Marathon and there is a woman in my building who is a running fanatic -- she even went to Europe for a marathon just so she could qualify for the Boston Marathon. I admire people who are so committed -- commitment isn't one of my best attributes, although there are some who feel I should be committed, but that's another story.

The marathon goes right by where I live, just 1/4 block away. Freckles and I usually go out and watch, although it drives Freckles crazy that 1) all those people are going by and not one of them recognizes her supreme cuteness and stops to scratch her head or belly and 2) the runners keep us from crossing the street and going to the park that she loves so much. Every year I see the same two people -- there is one man who always carries an MIA flag and another man who runs with his disabled child in a stroller. I would love to know more about their stories.

If you are running let me know and I'll look for you. If you aren't running then you can be a member of my non-marathon runners club -- we may not be in great shape but I think we are more fun to hang out with.

Turn Up The Volume Please

My friend Peter was telling me yesterday that when his mom was in hospice the nurse told the family that they should have movies and music she liked going all the time. She said that it is believed that even if someone is in a coma they can hear what is going on around them. So the family had her favorite movie "The Sound of Music" going 24/7 in her room. It made me think what would I want to have playing while I was in a coma. I felt I should make a list just so no one would make a mistake and have a Pauly Shore film festival or play the greatest hit(s) of Justin Bieber.

So here is Mary Hirsch's Comatose 10 (both music and videos):

1. Monk (anything from all 8 seasons)
2. Van Morrison
3. Casablanca (black and white version please)
4. Randy Travis (even though he played at Michele Bachmann's tent in Iowa)
5. The Music Man
6. Barry Manilow (yeah I know but I love him)
7. Elf
8. Gordon Lightfoot (yeah I know but I love him too)
9. The Andy Griffith Show (anything from all ??? seasons)
10. B.B. King

Why not "24" you may ask? Because I'm afraid I would kick the bucket before the end of the season and I hate it when that happens.

What would be in your Comatose 10?

The Church of the Confectionary

Anyone else remember Necco wafer candy? I saw a bag of them at the store in the Halloween candy section (I was only looking at the selection out of curiosity not because I wanted to see if they had "fun size" Milky Ways -- really -- curiosity).

We use to buy these all the time when I was a kid -- we used them as communion wafers. Necco wafers and those little wax bottles of some kind of syrup was the wine. And candy necklaces or bracelets were Rosary beads. Hey, I grew up in a Catholic neighborhood and this is what we did. It's a good thing they didn't make edible underwear back then (or at least we didn't know about it) or else we'd be wearing it on our heads as nun habits. We had to settle for pillow cases or if you pulled your shirt up over your head but didn't take it off you could use that as a wimple (I know it's called a wimple because of the Sound of Music "Underneath her wimple she has curlers in her hair" but I never did understand how she had curlers in her hair when it was so darn short -- oops I'm drifting again aren't I?).

Now some would call what we did as being disrespectful or sacrilegious, some would call it traditional childhood role playing, I like to think of it as the beginning of learning how to multitask -- you could eat candy, role play, and stay out of hell all at the same time. In fact, I think if churches served Necco wafers and sugar water in wax bottles while playing show tunes there would be more people there on Sunday.

Go in peace ...

It's the big 5-0-0

This is my 500th post. If my name was Mindy it would be the Mindy 500 or if I had been blogging about how to become rich it would be the Fortune 500 or if I was a dentist it could be 500 Smiles and if it was Oprah's 500th blog it would be a week long celebration culminating in a special on OWN television.

But it's just little old swell gal Mary so it is the 500 Blogs In Swell Smack Down Celebration.

Whoopeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Well thank God that's over. I'm spent. Anyone got a cigarette?

Hey how about those Vikings!?! 3-0 if you only watch the first half of the games. That's exactly what I did yesterday because I wasn't going to have my heart ripped out again. Britta told me she has a friend who will only watch the first half of Titanic because she doesn't like the idea of something so beautiful at the bottom of the sea. So I'm only watching the first half of the Viking games for the rest of the season.

And speaking of milestones the Twins are on the way to their 100th loss. They avoided it this weekend so are at 99 but I'm challenging Adrian Monk by saying it would be nice to have a round number like 100.

I am now turning my energies to the Minnesota Wild who I know will not rip out my heart and stomp on it this year. Yep, this is the year of the Wild, I can feel it -- of course that might just be gas.

I hope you have a good day celebrating the 500 Blogs in Swell Smack Down Celebration but remember to celebrate responsibly.

There Must Be 50 Ways To Use An Oven

When I do move I think I'll just give away my dresser since I pretty much just use my laundry basket to hold my clothes. Oh sure the things that need to be hung up usually get hung up but the other stuff, well it just sits in that basket until I finally empty it out so I can fill it with the dirty clothes that have been accumulating in a pile on the floor. So if you have a laundry basket and a floor who needs a dresser? It's kind of like my oven which is now nothing but a storage space for pans that I never use. The mom on "The Middle" (one of my favorite TV shows) uses her oven to store a quilt. GENIUS!!!!!!!! Heck, I should get rid of the pans and I could use it for my dirty clothes -- or shoes. GENIUS AGAIN!!!!!!!! And that drawer where all those pots I never use are sitting could hold my entire sock collection. I guess we all know what I'll be doing this weekend.