Open Mouth - Insert Foot

Why can't 6:00 a.m. come about two hours later (and 5:00 p.m. come about two hours sooner but only on Mon-Friday)?

So you want to know how to put your foot in your mouth? Let me tell you. I'm at lunch yesterday with two friends who I use to work with. One of them, we'll call her "L" has brought gift bags for me and my other friend, we'll call her "J." As J and I protest L says that it's not things she went out and bought but she's cleaning out her stuff and these are things she had already. That's when I, we'll call me "I," says "Why? Are your dying?" and L says "Well I do have breast cancer." If I wasn't so old and out of shape I would have crawled under the table until everyone had left. I did ask the server for a sharp knife but he wouldn't give me one. L wasn't mad but boy did I feel like an idiot. Now we just have to be there to support L as she goes through surgery and treatment. She explained that it is small and one of the most curable types of breast cancer so hopes are high.

So I'm back to my original Supreme Being plan of no illness and a pleasant passing to the next place. Vote for Mary. Vote for Mary.