Peace Dude

Well here it is the end of January ... the longest month I have ever lived through.  I honestly thought it was going to go on forever and ever world without end, Amen.  Psychologists say that January 25th is the most depressing day of the year -- the day when people feel the most depressed.  It's a combination of the end of the holidays, the decorations that made our homes seem more festive than usual have been taken down, most resolutions have been broken, and well the weather probably sucks.  But we made it through (well around 14 hours to go) January. I expect to have a wonderful February -- putting up the Groundhog's Day Tree, dancing to President Day's carols, watching the Olympics by the fireside, and eating chocolate while trying to ignore it's another &*#$*() Valentine's Day, which is getting us primed for Fat Tuesday on the 16th.  Well I'm going to go and enjoy the last day of January 2010.  Peace out.

Not Today, I Have A Headache/Heartache

I woke up at 2 in the morning with a splitting headache.  I took a bunch of Advil and got back to sleep but this morning I woke up with the same headache.  More Advil and hopefully some relief soon.

But I also woke up with a bit of a heartache.  My dad died 30 years ago today.  It just doesn't seem like it was so long ago.  It's odd to think that I've had more time without my dad than with my dad.  That's just not fair.  I remember when he died, he was 57, and I kept hearing people say he was way too young.  At the ripe old age of 25 I thought 57 wasn't all that young.  Now that I'm 55 it sure is young.  Funny how things change.

I think what I really regret is that my dad left before we really got to be friends.  At 25 you think you know everything and that you don't need a parent.  But I think it was in my 40s that I really realized how much I'd love to sit down and listen to my dad's stories.

I got a lot of my sense of humor and fun from my dad, and my eyes that squint when I smile, and my hearty laugh.  I miss him every day.  Thanks for it all Dad.

I'm Appreciated

Yes, the American Heart Association has presented me with a 2009 Certificate of Appreciation and all I had to do was open my mail. Oh sure they add a caveat about "in recognition of a generous gift" but too late, I already have my certificate. Thank you Dr. Clyde W. Yancy, President of AHA. (By the way I think the American Heart Association should have more fun with the fact that their initials spell A-HA, but that's just my opinion -- the opinion of an appreciated person.) This is going to look great on my resume under awards. I would recommend everyone open their mail so they too can be appreciated. Sure, you might think I didn't really do anything to deserve this but I disagree. I risked a paper cut, envelope glue poisoning (um, have you ever watched "Seinfeld"?), and the never ending concern with anthrax. I am now waiting for my invitation to the banquet saluting me -- an appreciated person.

I Feel Pretty

oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and bright.

I got nothin' this morning. I've sat here for the past 10 minutes trying to think of something to write about other than how coursin' cold it is and I got nothin'. Instead, here's an educational film for you to enjoy -- A Date With Your Family from the 1950s. If they had made a film about dinner with my family there would have been a lot of punching and kicking. After viewing the original I would suggest you watch it with the Mystery Science Theater gang. Come on, you were thinking all these things weren't you.

I Think The Sun Is Broken

Well the Gods heard my blog of yesterday and we have some sun, but I think it's broken because it's 'coursin freezing out there. (I prefer the more distinguished term "intercourse" or "'course" to the vulgar "F" word -- it makes me the classy broad that I am.)

Tonight is the State of the Union address. Personally I think it should be called the State of the Not-So-Union Address. We may all belong to the same country but we are so divided its sad. Gay marriage, abortion, health care, gun control, Kate or Jon -- the only thing we agree on is that the other side is wrong. I'm thinking of starting my own non-violent militia but I guess we'd have to be called a pacifistia. Of course you can't spell pacifistia without "fist" so I'm wondering if this would work.

Well at least I have the hat for it -- Pacifistia Fashionista

Just A Little Sun

Please, just a little sun ... I can't take it much longer.

I swear this has been the longest month ever, but I think January generally is a long, cold, dreary month. January is the only month of the year that I have never driven with the top down on my car. Okay, I did drive with it down when I was living in L.A. but I don't count that. And I can't just go around the block and say I drove with the top down. It has to be a legitimate, top down kind of day. I think my friend Terry had the right idea ... she went to Hawaii for a week. She's suppose to come back to work today but she just couldn't do it, she had to have one more day. She claims she's putting sand in her basement and she and her dog Kerbi are going to pretend they are at the beach. I love it. Perhaps we should all go over there and join them.

P.S. -- Pernell Roberts died. What baby boomer gal (or some guys) didn't have a complete crush on him as both Adam on Bonanza and as Trapper John on the Trapper John, M.D. show? He just oozed hot! Bye Pernell and thanks for the fantasies.

There's Always Next Year?????

There are a lot of sad people today in Snowville because the mighty Vikings have struck out. But hey, life goes on. And it is snowing again, hopefully covering up the ice. Yikes, what a winter. I felt sorry for Freckles this weekend when she would try to get up on the snow banks and sink. Then it was hard for her to get out because she only has the only back leg. It's really the first time I've felt sorry for her because she has 3 legs. But you now what, she got back up and kept going ... sunk and got up and kept going. I haven't figured out if she's inspirational or just not too bright.

I Want A Pony For Christmas

Today I'm up close and personal ... well up close. It was an abrupt awakening. Usually Freckles sleeps in until I finally go and get her up but all of a sudden Freckles is like "I gotta go" and I'm racing to pull on my sweats under my nightgown, throw on my coat, and get her out the door. Well she made it, but that cold air reminded me that I needed to go too. What a duo we are "I have to go; no I have to go; no I have to go." I wonder which one of us will end up in diapers first.

My friend Mary's dog Buddy (oh Buddy) is wearing diapers now. I believe he is around 14 or 15 years old and he's my pal too. I remember staying with Mary when I was here for Christmas during my disastrous move to California episode and Buddy came and slept on my feet. It was the best feeling in the world. It was like he knew I was sad and he wanted to make me feel good. Dogs are the best.

So today is the "big game." I hope the Vikings win. On Friday night there were interviews with fans at a rally at the Mall of America and people were saying they can't sleep and are having trouble dealing with the anxiety. Not being a crazed fan, on the one hand I think they are nuts, on the other hand I envy them the fun they are having. They remind me of kids who can't sleep waiting for Santa to come. I just hope they get a pony, I don't think they can handle getting another set of socks.

Better Late Than Never (But Better Never Late)

So sue me ... no wait don't sue me.  I forgot to do a post this morning.  I blame Nancy, Mary, and Jean who forced me to go to the Original Pancake House for breakfast at 7:45 in the morning (on a Saturday) and eat delicious food and have a good time so I forgot to do this until now, which is 5:00 in the afternoon/early evening.  Where exactly does the evening begin?  I think it should be 6:00 but some people say it's 5:00.  I believe they are wrong.  What do you think?

Anyways, did you watch the Hope for Haiti Now event?  I saw part of it, but can't honestly say I was mesmerized to watch the whole thing.  And, as with the Grammys, I didn't know who a lot of these people are.  I'm not sure if they are trying to be humble by not putting the singer's name on the screen, but it's actually kind of arrogant to assume we ALL know who you are.  Okay I'm a geezer and I'm not terribly motivated to listen to new music.  It's the old line from "The Big Chill" when Michael asked Harold "Don't you have any other music, you know from this century?" and Harold said "There is no other music."  But I digress.

I'm not here to toot my own horn (TOOT, TOOT), but I gave a donation to UNICEF before it was chic.  I appreciate what the celebs are doing, but I have to say perhaps we could hide our light under the bushel a little bit more. Anyways, my review of Hope for Haiti Now -- a great effort for a great cause, but Haiti will need help forever and I'm afraid we will all move on to the next cause very soon.

Have a good late afternoon or early evening or whatever.

Please Don't Squeeze The Leftovers

Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match ... on second thought never mind.

Good morning.  it's Friday and I'm feeling fine.  But I do have something on my mind.  It's not my Prince Charming, but it is close -- it's Charmin toilet paper commercials.  FTLOG (for the love of god) what is up with the checking for pieces left behind commercial.  I think most moms are happy if their kids just use toilet paper, in fact they're happy if the kids just use the toilet.  What ever happened to Mr. Whipple who just got mad if you squeezed the Charmin? I'm trying to picture him running around the supermarket checking customers for leftover pieces. I can hear it now -- "Mr. Whipple, Piece check on aisle 7."  Oh well TGIF.  (By the way, did you know Charmin was originally manufactured in Green Bay.  There are a lot of jokes in that fact alone.)

H1N1 Now's The Time To Have Some Fun

Today I get my H1N1 shot or snort -- not sure which one.  Of course this comes about six months after every network virtually guaranteed that I was going to get the H1N1 (aka swine) flu and suffer and/or die but that's too bad because there's not enough vaccine for me.  I saw images of people standing in long lines to hopefully get a share of the sacred serum.  There were pictures of children cringing and screaming as they were shot or mists where shoved up their noses.  And I waited to either hear that I too could have a shot or to get the flu and see what happens.  I made arrangements with friends for my dog if I was so sick I couldn't take care of her.  I totally bought into the hype and nothing happened.  Nothing happened to me or any of my friends.  We had one or two people at work who did get the flu but there was no pandemic or epidemic ... just a hypidemic.  Now, the message is the shot is available for everyone so get one.  Part of me wants to just say thanks but no thanks but then I think, well I might as well.  So, yes I'll get the shot/snort today but I'm afraid the next time I hear about an impending doomsday disease, it will be a hard sell.  Now, hit me with your best shot.

Mad Magazines

What me bizarre?  Oh I guess that's bazaar ... tomatoes tomahtos.

Yes, I just received my copy of Bazaar.  Another magazine I never ordered.  I have been getting a lot of magazines that I never ordered including Bazaar, Vogue, Simple, Martha Stewart, and InStyle.  I don't know if this is someone sending them to me as a joke (ha, ha) or if it's some fluke through the magazine subscription service I've used in the past (and I emphasize PAST).  But either way, it is really hard to stop a subscription that you never requested.  You can email them, send a letter, and then just not pay the bills you keep getting but it doesn't stop them.  I believe magazine subscription departments are the world's true optimist/fool --- they honestly believe if they keep sending me bills along with magazines that eventually I'll break down and pay the bill (ha, ha).  I contacted the post office and they were no help at all.  Stopping a magazine subscription is like trying to stop Dick Cheney from talking.

On a different note I want to send a "WAY TO GO" to Subway for bringing back swimmer Michael Phelps.  I'm not a gigantic Phelps fan, but I just don't think he should be shunned for having a picture of him using a bong.  I like my heros to be human.  Welcome back Michael

Neon-derthal Thoughts

On this day Georges Claude patented the neon discharge tube for use in advertising so I decided to glow in celebration.  You got to love Photoshop.


I woke up this morning with a terrible problem -- the song "Pants on the Floor" is running through my head until I'm ready to grab a sharp object and go running through the streets.  Why does it seem that I never get a song that I love stuck in my head.  Why not "Moondance" or "Smooth" or "Rufus Rafus Johnson Brown"?  No I get "Pants on the Floor" or something by Abba or the Kit Kat jingle.  I guess it's the same reason why I tend to remember the mistakes I made rather than the successes.  Strange how our minds work.  Now I have this urge to drop my pants, sing "Dancing Queen" and eat chocolate.  Sounds like a good day to me.

Happy Winnie-the-Pooh Day

Yes this is the official Winnie-the-Pooh Day, also the birthday of A.A. Milne.  I've had this bear for a very long, long, long, long, time.  He's traveled with me to California and back riding in the passenger seat.  He has seen me through a lot of good and bad times.  Three cheers for Pooh ... the best bear of all.

It is also Martin Luther King, Jr. Day and I for the first time, I am seeing MLK sales.  I think this either shows that African Americans are now truly part of consumerism America or that the whole meaning of MLK Day has been lost.  I'm use to seeing lingerie sales on Presidents Day, because god knows nothing pays tribute to Washington and Lincoln like a cross-your-heart bra, but I've never seen MLK Day sales.  I remember when the first MLK Day was celebrated.  I worked at a law firm that is very politically correct and they were among the first private companies to close on that day ... of course they didn't want to lose a work day for the staff so they just traded MLK Day for Presidents Day. They may be politically correct but damn it they aren't going to lose money over it!!  My current beloved employer (CBE) doesn't close on MLK Day or Presidents Day but for some odd reason we get Good Friday off.

Well happy WTP and MLK Day.  Now go buy some lingerie.

Go Vikings ... Please

I really haven't been much on following the Vikings for a long time.  I can't deal with the big letdown when you think they have a real shot at the Super Bowl.  I've been through four Super Bowl losses and it ain't pretty.  I remember when we lost a playoff game in I believe it was 1997 or 1998 after almost a flawless year. Everyone was sure we were going to go all the way.  You could feel the deep depression on the bus the next morning.  No one said anything.  So I'll watch some of the game at a friend's house and if we lose I'll pretend I don't care, but I do.  Come on Vikings ... don't disappoint us again.

P.S. --- I knew they would win. No problems. I've always been a believer.

Just Dew It

Yes, today's blog is brought to you by Mountain Dew -- when water isn't enough grab a Dew.

Well a belated good morning to you.  I slept late (until 9:00), took this lovely photo, and then gathered up Freckles and we headed to the dog park.  I believe anyone who is feeling down should go to a dog park.  You can't feel bad at a dog park.  You also can't play a depressing song on a banjo -- even if it's played by an incredibly scary looking guy.  So if you had a banjo player at a dog park it would usurp Disneyland as the happiest place on earth.  I dated a guy who once referred to his nether region as the happiest place on earth.  Believe me it was no Disneyland -- more like one of those rides outside of K-Mart and I'm still not sure it would have been worth the quarter.

And speaking of going up and down ... the elevator in my building is finally working again.  It has been "modernized" and was out of commission for almost six weeks.  I live on the first floor so it wasn't too big a hassle, except carrying groceries and a dog up one flight of stairs from the basement garage.  Freckles will go down the stairs, but she won't go up the stairs -- I think it's too hard with only one back leg.  So it was fun to ride the elevator today.  Unfortunately it has one of those annoying voices -- "Basement, going up" -- well let's hope.   So it's a good day -- the sun is shining, it's not that cold, the elevator is working, and I'm still beautiful.  I think I'll listen to some banjo music. Da, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

Peek A Boo ... ICU

Where's Mary? Has anyone seen Mary?

There she is. And she's gorgeous. 

Confessions of a UNICEF Thief

Pictures of the devastation in Haiti are overwhelming.  My friend Joni goes to Haiti every year to do volunteer work.  In those years she has developed many friendships in Haiti and has a godson there.  The last time I talked to her she hadn't heard from her friends, but they are not in Port Au Prince so she assumes they are safe.  (In her email she said they aren't in "PAP" and my warped mind was wondering why she was comparing Haiti to a Pap Smear -- then it dawned on me what it was.  I should be locked up somewhere.)  I encourage you to donate money for relief.  Yesterday I donated to the UNICEF Haiti Relief fund.  I have been a supporter of UNICEF for many years.  I felt I owed it to them since I kept the money I collected in a Trick or Treat for UNICEF box when I was in the 5th grade so I could buy a Yo-Yo.  I believe the statute of limitation has run out on that one.   If you have the ability, please consider donating.  If you do I'll let you use my Yo-Yo.

Young At Heart (and liver and pancreas etc.)

A swell gal walks into a bar with a bear on her head. The bartender looks up and says "Can I help you?" The bear says "Yeah, you can get this swell gal off my ass.

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I've always wondered what it would be like in nursing homes when they are filled with baby boomers and someone comes in to lead a sing-along.  I've been in nursing homes where the sing-alongs have been included songs like "Wait 'Til the Sunshines Nellie," or "Don't Sit Under the Apple Tree," or other songs from the first half of the 1900s.  But when the boomers are there will they have us all singing "You Can't Always Get What You Want," "One Toke Over The Line Sweet Jesus," and "In-a-gadda-da-vida."  I found the answer last night in a wonderful documentary called "Young at Heart."  In the Twin Cities it will be played again on Channel 2 this Saturday at 9:00 or on Channel 13 this Sunday at 6:00.  It is about a singing group with an average age of 81.  You watch them rehearse James Brown's  "I Feel Good," the Clash's "Should I Stay or Should I Go," and others.  It will make you smile, laugh, cry, and feel hopeful about getting older (those of you who are getting older -- me I'm regressing and will soon be old enough not to vote, which I'm actually looking forward to).

I'll Be A Little Late This Morning

I'm not sure if I did it on purpose or it was just a "mistake" but I didn't set my alarm clock last night.  So all of a sudden it's 8:15 the sun is up and I am going to be late.  It's okay I'm pretty sure the work elves will leave me plenty to do when I get there.  So this morning you get a "I'm ready for work" picture because I had to quickly get dressed so I could get Freckles outside.  She was looking pretty desperate to get out the door ... when nature calls and all.  The snow outside my building looks like a connect the dots game with all the yellow spots.  And in the middle of it all is one frozen turd.  If I was a philosopher I'd say it was a pretty good image of life and we are the snow.  Of course if I was a philosopher I'd really be broke and working at Starbucks.  Well, I'm running a little late so I better go to work and face the steaming pile of whatever is waiting ...

The Good Old Days Are Back

It's official NBC has created a way back time machine and everything will go back to when it was good.  I also understand Friends, Cheers, and Frasier will be returning to Thursday nights.  Other networks have joined the fun -- Walter Cronkite will be back on CBS Evening News, Happy Days is back on ABC, and Fox -- well never mind.

The GOP is bringing back Ronald Reagan, while the DFL is bringing back Nixon -- just for laughs.  The CDC is bringing back polio so they finally have a disease they can actually cure again.  Ford is bringing back the Model-T, Chrysler is bringing back Lee Iacocca, and Saturn is bringing back Pluto as an official planet.

In the spirit of the event I am bringing back my ex-husband, my job ironing tuxedo shirts, and I being back in school where I am suppose to take a chemistry exam but I've never been to the class and I'm naked.

Sorry NBC, you're on your own.

Deep Questions for a Sunday Morning

There's a great song by Kris Kristofferson called "Sunday Morning Coming Down."


On the Sunday morning sidewalk,
Wishing, Lord, that I was stoned.
'Cos there's something in a Sunday,
Makes a body feel alone.
And there's nothin' short of dyin',
Half as lonesome as the sound,
On the sleepin' city sidewalks:
Sunday mornin' comin' down.


I don't know that I wish that I was stoned but I do spend a great deal of time lately doing nothing at all.  I can't seem to find my passion ... I mean I think I know my passion which is what I'm doing at this moment -- writing -- but some how instead I spend a lot of time just laying on the couch watching movies or television and doing nothing.

I guess that's what Sundays do to a person.  Maybe it's because even for us heathens there's a feeling we should be examining our lives whether it's in a church or in your bed.

(Oops shiny object tour -- I live in an urban area just about a mile from downtown Minneapolis and by three large historic churches and I can hear the bells ringing from one of the churches.  I love that sound.)

I do get sidetracked a lot.  Anyways, I need to do something to get that passion back into my life, because a passionless life is, to borrow Kris' words, "nothin' short of dyin'."

Okay ... that was pretty heavy ... one of those days.  Maybe I need more Cymbalta.  I think there should be a new reality show called UP YOUR DOSAGE where people come one, complain about their lives, and then the panelists decide where or not to UP YOUR DOSAGE.  It's like when Suzi Orman decides whether or not you are approved to buy new underwear.

Good Morning To The Little People

I found my crown from my 50th birthday when I was looking through some boxes.  You know I think I look gorgeous in a crown.  I think we should all go through life wearing crowns.

I suppose if you wear a crown you have to be queen or king of something.  At one point I appointed myself Office Queen where I work, but I'm willing to relinquish my title there -- I'm tired of carrying my purse and waving as I walk down the halls.  I'm not sure what I'd like to be queen of -- queen of the world seems a little overwhelming, queen of the U.S. seems a little beauty queen (and I hate to ALWAYS be flaunting my beauty), and even the coveted Aquatennial Queen of Minneapolis requires you to be a little too perky for my tastes.  In high school I wanted to be Homecoming Queen but that didn't happen (damn you Nancy Baxter for stealing my thunder), I was Snowball Princess but that Kathy Nelson got to be Snowball Queen.  I was Honored Queen for Bethel 18 of Jobs Daughters and that was cool -- kind of bizarre but cool.

I think I'd like to be Bowling Queen, even though I haven't bowled in years.  I'd like to go from bowling alley to bowling alley and hang out with people who are having fun, drinking beer, and wearing funny shirts.  This would be way better than being Triathlon Queen where you have to hang out with people who are sweating, in pain, and generally ready to throw up.  They always look like they want to hurt me.

So go get yourself a crown.  Everyone looks good in a crown.  Look at how great my friend Peter looks in a crown.

Going Backwards?

First, I want to give a peanut butter toast (get it -- people put PB on toast and I'm giving a PB toast -- why am I not making millions writing comedy?) anyways a PB toast to Elvis on his 75th birthday.  You sure gave us some fun music.  But I really want to give a toast to my friend Mary on her 4??? birthday.  She's a great person, a good daughter, wonderful mother, loving wife, and fantastic friend and that, my friends, trumps a dead icon any day.  Happy Birthday Mary.

I heard last night that Jay Leno is going back to 10:30 and Conan O'Brien is going back to 11:30 because the ratings suck.  I can't blame them ... in my life I have a tendency to go back to the way it was when a new adventure isn't working out.   It is much more comfortable there.  Something to ponder while eating a peanut butter and bacon sandwich and singing "Bossa Nova Baby."

Thank you, thank you very much.

Millard Fillmore, Wall Street Journal, and a Crazy Lady In Minneapolis

Well first off, happy birthday to Millard Fillmore who would have been 210 today.    Our 13th President Fillmore is best known as the only president with four L's in his name.  So I'm sending a big birthday kiss to the Fillmeister.  Hopefully my boyfriend Jack Bauer won't be too jealous.

On a different topic, because it's hard to maintain a long posting about Millard Fillmore, in the building where I work there are flat screen televisions by the elevator bank on the main floor.  You've seen them everywhere.  They usually have CNN or MSNBC playing all day long.  Well in my building we get the Wall Street Journal station which amazingly is even more boring than it sounds.  There are no people on the screen only some news blurbs mostly about stocks.  The reason we get the WSJ station is because they paid for the televisions to be installed.  So yesterday while waiting for an elevator, I read that it was Epiphany and that marks the official end of Christmas so apparently you should take down your Christmas tree.  While I have one 4-1/2 foot fake tree with no ornaments that I need to unplug and stick in a box until next year, WSJ reported there is a family out East that has something like 67 Christmas trees all over the house that "they" have to take down.  Only the WSJ would be bold enough to suggest that a family with a house big enough to hold 67 Christmas trees, without being featured on Hoarders, would actually take the trees down themselves.  "They" have people who take down the trees.  I don't have people and I just can't seem to get around to taking down my tree.  I'm thinking of leaving it up forever.  I can become that crazy lady in the neighborhood who still has her Christmas tree up in March, April, May, etc.  and when people ask me why I can say something like "I'm not taking down my tree until there is universal health care of all Americans, or a cure of cancer, or radio stations agree to never, ever play 'The Christmas Shoes' again."  Then I would not only be a crazy lady, I'd be a crazy lady with a sound bite.  With any luck I could end up as a blurb on the WSJ channel.

I Don't Want To Go To School Mom

Boy was it hard to get out of bed today.  I pushed that snooze button over and over again.  Even Freckles didn't want to get out of bed -- of course Freckles never wants to get out of bed until she hears me pour food into her dish.  Nothing gets a body moving like a bowl of meat by-products.

In my next life I want to be a bear and sleep all winter and wake-up in the spring.  Of course there would be those pesky hunters who want to kill me for fun, those crazy philosophers who keep asking if I poop in the woods (like, duh, is the Pope Catholic?) and those creeps who want to capture me and make me wear funny clothes and do stupid things in a circus.  Where are the hunters when you need them?

The Trouble With Freezing Cold Weather...

is that it becomes the center of all conversation.  "Stay warm," "Cold enough for you," and other pithy sayings are flying all over the place.  I'm going to try to get through the whole day at work today without saying "cold."

Of course there are exceptions such as "cold, hard cash" when asked what would make my job better.  Or "cold war" when a discussion about the Soviet Union vs. United States space program breaks out at the old water cooler.  But most importantly when asked where do I want to go for lunch -- "Cold Stone Creamery."

Wish me luck ... it's a warmth-impaired world out there.

Jobs Are The New Brussels Sprouts

It's been nice having short weeks.  Work three days - get six days off, work two days - get three days off.  I could definitely get use to this.  So does anyone else get up in the morning and think "Oh I don't want to go to work today" and then hear a little voice (that usually sounds like your mother or grandmother) say "Just be glad you have a job."  I am glad I have a job and a job at a place that I like.  But truth be known I'd rather be able to stay up late, sleep in, and do whatever I want -- who wouldn't?

I think the "Just be glad you have a job" has become the "There are starving children in Europe who would love to have those __________ [fill in the blank with brussels sprouts, peas, carrots, squirrel meatballs, or whatever]" and it's being said by the same baby boomers who never understood the reasoning behind why kids in Europe who wanted to eat crap should force me to eat crap.

Perhaps we should say "There are unemployed people in India who would love to have your job outsourced to them."  Ouch -- that's a little too close to the truth for me.  I better got to work!!

[Today's picture: I'm not trying to hide my tousled hair -- I'm trying to stay warm.  It's cold outside and inside.  You may not see my hair again until spring (and by then there may be robin nesting in it).]

Back On Line -- Boy Am I Spoiled

I finally am back on line.  I did all the usual steps when I can't get on line and nothing worked.  Sat on hold for 40 minutes waiting for Comcast to tell me it's not their fault and transfer me to Apple.  The wonderful woman at Apple got me up and running in about 5 minutes.  I love Apple.

So yesterday I'm at the grocery store and I remembered its resolution time.  I stopped making resolutions -- well the traditional resolutions (I'll lose weight, exercise, get taller, keep my condo clean, find a cure for cancer, and be nominated for a Nobel prize in physics).  This blog I guess is my New Year's resolution.  Actually its my need to do something other than work, walk the dog, and watch television.  It is so easy to get in a rut.

I love to write but I come home and say "Oh I'm too tired to write."  You know it's not like I was out pulling a plow or digging ditches or chasing children for 8 hours.  I sit in an office at a computer and every once in a while I have to walk from the 16th floor to the 15th floor and then back up the stairs, but that's about it.  The truth is not that I'm too tired, its just easier to lay on the couch with Freckles and watch whatever is on.  So I'm hoping that this blog will inspire me to do even more writing.

So back to the whole grocery store and I remembered its resolution time -- I got sidetracked as usual (shiny object, shiny object) -- the first of the year you will always find the Lean Cuisine on sale, along with other "diet" products.  Every other commercial is either for Alli, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Lifetime Fitness, or some other weight loss/get in shape project.  Having been overweight all my life, and having lost as much as 100 pounds at one time, I can tell you what the secret to weight loss is -- being happy, creative, and liking yourself.  If you don't like yourself at 280 pounds, you aren't going to like yourself at 120 pounds -- I guarantee it.

Okay, I'm going to spend the day picking up -- I have a tendency to let things fall and stay.  I even bought a gift wrap organizer to put my leftover Christmas paper in.  Maybe this is the year I get organized --- oh I crack myself up.

Have a good Sunday.

Good Grief It's Cold Out There (and in here)

I believe if you look closely you will see ice hanging from my eye lashes.  Those aren't dark circles under my eyes -- they are small skating rinks.  And yes I slept in my sweatshirt.

It's approximately 80 degrees below outside and not that much warmer in my place. To take Freckles out for a walk I wore two pairs of socks, two pairs of pants, my nightgown, and a sweatshirt all under a gigantic down coat. I felt like Randy in "A Christmas Story."  If I fell I would never get up but on the plus side with all that padding I probably wouldn't break my hip.

Today I am going to the funeral of my friend Geri's mother. Last Saturday I went to the funeral of my friend Mary's mother. I hope to lay around on the couch next Saturday. They are dropping like flies. The church where the funeral for Geri's mom is being held has had something like 20 people die in the past 2 weeks. It's like O'Hara airport on a holiday -- they are circling the sanctuary for a chance to land. Geri said the poor woman who assists with funerals in going crazy.

Okay, I have to go and put on my funeral outfit. Have a good day and stay warm.

January 1, 2010

Happy New Year!!!!!

This morning I woke up and saw myself in the mirror and thought: 1) OMG*; 2) I should take a picture of this; and 3) boy do I have to pee. So after taking care of Mother Nature's call (and she seems to be calling way too often lately) I went to my computer and took this picture using Photo Booth, an application that allows you not just to take a picture of yourself and/or friends but let's you manipulate it in ways that make you look like any day you will be appearing on Criminal Minds. Then as I brushed my teeth the idea came to M.E. for this blog.

I've wanted to do a blog for a long time, but had nothing different to offer so I didn't do it -- that and the fact that I kept procrastinating -- but now I have something different to offer, and pictures of M.E. are very, very different.

So here I am, starting the new year with my first picture and my morning thoughts. I hope you will come along with M.E., and maybe respond with your own morning picture and thoughts.

Let's hope 2010 is a good year because to be honest, and hopefully not piss off last year's karma, 2009 pretty much sucked.

Good morning world, it's M.E. (Mary Elizabeth).


(*OMG = Oh Mary's Gorgeous)