Memorial Day Is More Than A Day Off From Work

This is a picture of my dad and his brothers during World War II. My Uncle Dick is on the left, my Uncle Phil is in the middle, and my dad is on the right. I wonder how my grandmother felt when she saw her three sons in their uniforms, heading off to war. I can't imagine what went through her mind.

My dad and his brothers all came home from the war, but over 400,000 soldiers didn't return. On Memorial Day it is good to take the time to remember those who died for our country. Freedom is never free.

Sunday In The Park and other things

I went to Lakewood Cemetery and put flowers on my family graves. Every year at Memorial Day I struggle with whether or not I'm going to go to the cemetery and bring flowers. When my mom was alive she and I would go every year to my grandparents grave. In face we use to call it our yearly battle because even after 30 years we would argue on how to get to the grave site. She'd say go right, I'd say go left and sometimes she was right and some years I was right. If you've ever been to Lakewood Cemetery you'll understand why it is so confusing because the roads wind and merge and there are many different ways to get to the same place.

I think it might be that it's just kind of sad to go by myself. So this year I brought Freckles. I'm not sure if it was the best idea but she seemed to enjoy peeing on various graves (I'm thinking of hiring her out for that service) and rolling around in the grass. I hope the occupants thought it was fun to watch.

I heard one couple who were spending a great deal of time grooming the grave site of someone say to each other "I wonder if anyone will even bother to visit us when we're here." And I had been thinking the same thing. I know when I'm gone no one will ever visit my mom's grave. My brother and his kids don't do that now. And no one will be stopping by my grandparents' site either. And that's not really such a bad thing. When my dad died he was cremated, which was what he wanted. He said he didn't want anyone to come and visit a grave, he'd rather have us sit on a park bench somewhere and just think about him. I think he had the right idea.

It's a beautiful Sunday. Freckles and I went to the park and it was almost surreal. There were kids playing, lots of people walking their dogs, a father and son tossing a baseball, and a guy sitting on a bench playing the violin. I felt like I was on a movie set. If only George Clooney would come walking on to the set it would be perfect.

Up With The Birds

well here it is 5:10 in the morning. I went to bed at midnight, woke up at 2:00 and haven't been back to sleep since. Oh well, I can take a nap this afternoon. I have lots to do so I figured I might as well get up and do something. No use just laying around in bed unless, of course, you are doing it with Keifer Sutherland. Besides Freckles is snoring like crazy and is having some gas issues that are of EPA magnitude. I have a feeling it would be the same with Keifer but some how it wouldn't bother me as much. I wonder why.

I bought a new bed on Thursday. I've been sleeping on a bed that my friend gave me who had had it for ten or more years and prior to that it belonged to her mother. I'm guesstimating it is around 25 years old and rather hard. I've wanted a new bed for a long time and finally took the plunge. I got an adjustable bed so I can sit up and sleep when my asthma kicks in or I have a cold or whatever. The feet also can be raised. In the store I put them up about as far as you can and I kept waiting for some stirrups to pop out. I think you have to special order that item. It's being delivered next Friday -- can't wait. I have to buy new sheets because it's a queen size bed and I have a full bed now. That means Freckles gets more room to hog. Almost nightly I end up clinging to the side of the bed while Freckles grows to about six feet long, then in the morning she goes back to three feet long -- it's amazing.

Have a good Saturday.

Happy Birthday Sue

Happy birthday to my friend Sue Schrader (on the left). She and I worked together at Norwest before it was Wells Fargo. She and I share a love of animals although she's a cat person and I'm a dog person. She has a cat named Buddy who apparently can say "oatmeal" and "hello" and is a mime. Freckles doesn't say anything but that's okay.

Happy birthday Sue.

Freckles Is A Trooper

Poor little Freckles has to have surgery. She has a tumor on her front leg. It is almost always benign but it still has to be removed and checked. She's sure been through a lot in four years -- losing a leg, heart worm, and now this. I'll probably have it done next week. She'll have to wear one of those cones. When my nephew was little and their dog had to wear a cone he said Rio was a dog flower.

I can't believe this is already Thursday. Why do vacations go so fast?It's not fair I tell you, not fair. I could definitely use another week or 20.

Well off to enjoy the day.

I'm Sorry We Are Not Available To Take Your Call

Hi this is Mary and Freckles. We are not home now. We are out driving around in our convertible. Please leave a message at the beep and we'll get back to you later.

Bye.

Is It Hot Enough For You?

If you compare my hair today to my hair yesterday you will notice that it has expanded. Ah, humidity. Yesterday I swear I could feel my hair getting bigger and bigger as the day got hotter and hotter. I felt like a Chia Pet.

Well 24 has ended (or has it). Jack is off to hide in Europe or South America or some exotic land. I'll have to wait for the movie to find out what happens. I'd like to thank my friend Peter for calling me every five minutes during the show to ask if Jack is dead yet. You're heartless Peter, and Chloe will get you in your sleep.

Well I better get back to my vacation. It's a tough gig but I'll keep at it.

I Must Be On Vacation...

because I forgot to blog yesterday. Oh well.

I was worried that it would be cold and rainy all week. I guess that's not going to be happening. I slept last night with my ceiling fan on high speed and another fan blowing on me. It's hot out there.

My only plans today is lunch with a friend. But of course tonight is the finale of not just the season but the show finale for "24". Who is going to set up perimeters? Who will Chloe have to send schematics to? What will all those college kids do when they can't drink every time Jack says "Damn it"? What will I do in January when I don't have my four hour premier to look forward to? It's too much to think about right now ... I'll think about it tomorrow at Tara. Wow, not too many people can link "24" with "Gone With the Wind."

Well off to vacation ...

Vacation, I'm On Vacation

This is the face of a woman who is starting 10 days of vacation. This is a happy face. Remember this face because you may not see it again until October.

So yesterday for our staff event I had a good time and I didn't have to take off my socks!! We went on a garage sale scavenger hunt in limos. It was worth it just to see the look on the faces of the people when we pulled up to their home in a limo. And everyone was so nice. We told them what we were doing and what we were looking for and some of them went into their homes and garages and brought things that they weren't planning on selling out for us. And our team won for being the most frugal. Each team was given $50 and we only spent $27. Of course the most important part of the event was that I learned why I don't go to garage sales -- it's a lot of junk.

Oh boy it is raining like crazy out right now, which is a good way to start a vacation because I can stay indoors and watch movies or read or go back to sleep. Hmmmm I wonder which one I'll choose?

It's Been One Of Those Weeks

I thought Friday would never get here. I'm on vacation next week and boy do I need it because this is what I feel like in my head.

We have a staff event today and I wish I hadn't signed up. You don't know where you're going or what you'll have to do -- there's always some kind of game or competition and someone gets mad at someone else and oh well.

One year we had to do a puppet show using our socks ... yes you read that correctly grown ups had to put on a puppet show using their dirty, stinky socks. What is really depressing is our group won.

Perhaps that's where I should put my energies from now on -- Welcome To Mary Hirsch's Dirty Hosiery Puppet Hour. You'll never know if I'll be using argyles, knee highs, fishnets, or the always amusing anklets. I'll work on this during my vacation and see what I can come up with. I'm almost on vacation -- yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Happy Anniversary

Freckles and I are pleased to announce our third anniversary. That's 21 years in dog land. I remember how scared she was when she first came home with me but she's one happy pup now. I swore when I got her I wasn't going to be one of those people who treat their dog like a person and I kept that promise -- I don't treat anyone as well as I treat Freckles. She has me wrapped around her paw.

Tonight, as a special treat, she will be having a Frosty Paw and I will be having a Milk Bone then we'll dance to our song.

The Class of 72 Meets The Class of 10

I received this in a graduation announcement. Wow have times changed. I graduated 38 years ago from Southwest High in Minneapolis. I remember very little about the ceremony except that I tripped on the microphone cord and knocked it over. That was probably because I was sitting in the back rows smoking a joint. Bad Mary, bad, bad Mary. If I went to high school today I would never have graduated. I can't believe all the pressure they are under and the classes they take. I coasted through high school on C's and D's and an occasional B if I was taking a class I was actually interested in. I spent most of my daydreaming or writing in my journal.

But this card made me ponder what would the class of 1972 card look like. The quote would be "Don't trust anyone over thirty." The flower would have to be the poppy. And the class song, well there were so many top 100 songs of 1972 to choose from (although the class of 2010 didn't chose any songs from their generation such as "Blah, Blah, Blah" by Kei$ha). In 1972 we could have chosen Chuck Berry's "My Ding-A-Ling," Michael Jackson's salute to a rat "Ben," T. Rex's "Bang A Gong (Get It On)," or the New Seekers hawking Coke with "I'd Like To Teach The World To Sing." But if I had to pick a song that represented the class of 1972, or specifically this student's high school years, I'd pick "American Pie" because it was very long and you really never understood what it was all about.

Well got to take my Chevy to the Levy ... later.

The Water's Coming; The Water's Coming

I was at the park this morning and saw the park board guy getting the ponds ready for water. He said they should be up and running on Thursday. The park near me has seven ponds that run through it. This is a picture from last summer. The running of the water is one of those signs that summer is here. Of course this year they could have opened the pond in March.

So here are the signs in my life that winter has ended: 1) the top goes down on the car; 2) the ponds are filled and the water is running; and 3) I shave my legs. Only one of these signs involves the spilling of blood which I now equate with the traditional sacrifice to the gods of spring only in my case no lambs are hurt during this event.

An Olympic Medalist and My Friend

This is Annie after getting second place in the 50 yard dash at the regional Special Olympics on Saturday. She will be at the state meet in June where last year she won a gold medal.

Annie and I work together. She is the only person I've ever worked with who doesn't like to take vacation because she would rather be at work. Every day she is glad to be there and works harder than anyone I've seen. And she is funny. Here is my favorite Annie story:

I was sitting at my desk which was right outside the office of one of the attorneys. His door was closed. Another attorney came up to his door and asked me if Tom was in. Being the incredibly efficient and dedicated person that I am I said "I don't know." This response was one word longer than what I would have liked to say (you can figure that one out). The attorney then went up to the door and knocked very lightly, leaning in to try to hear if there was a response. At this point Annie came walking by heard him knock and said "Housekeeping." Too funny.

Did I Really See That?

It's a beautiful Sunday morning so Freckles and I are out running some errands, top down on Bessie (that's the name of my car so don't wonder why I didn't take a picture of that), and as we cruised down Excelsior Blvd. I saw a sign and I thought "I must have read that wrong." I turned the car around and went back to look again and yes, I did see correctly -- SEXY ASIAN FARMHOUSE ANTIQUES.

Of course the questions are many: How can any farmhouse antiques be sexy? How can any farmhouse antiques be Asian (yes I realize I'm being Anglocentric)? Do you think they put SEXY on the sign just to get our attention? And if so, how smart was that?

Well with a Google of "Sexy Asian Farmhouse Antiques" I discovered there is a Sexy Asian Farmhouse Antiques Facebook page and an actual web page for the antique store.

Of course a really funny sign would be SEXY NORWEGIAN FARMHOUSE ANTIQUES because, well we all know two of those words don't belong together.

P.S. -- Only 20 weeks until I swim with the dolphins.

Times have changed

My friends John and Goran are taking their son Glen to Scandinavia for his high school graduation. When I graduated (38 years ago) I got a used stereo that I had to put a quarter on the arm to keep it from skipping. I thought it was the greatest gift ever and had if for many years. It kind of looked like this one. I think the first album I played on it was Roberta Flack's Killing Me Softly or Seals and Crofts Summer Breeze. My friend Peter who will be turning 40 next month has no idea who Seals and Crofts is. I'm not sure if he knows Roberta Flack but I'll bet he never had a record player with a quarter on the arm to keep it from skipping. Maybe I'll put a quarter on my iPod just for old times sake.

It's Quarter to Three

... there's no one in the place except Freckles and me.

I woke up about an hour ago with a terrible coughing fit and can't get back to sleep until my cough suppressant takes effect so here I am.

I actually wish I was one of those people who only needed about 4 hours of sleep a night because I would rather be up and doing "stuff."

I'm going back to bed now, but will be back later to add to this stimulating post that is making me sleepy.

******

Okay, mom I'm up. Geez. Hey what is that orb in the sky? OMG they're coming for us, run damn it run. Oh, never mind.

I'm the walking dead right now. When I did get back to sleep it was pitiful sleep. Oh well. Working from home today so Freckles and I are very happy. I have another friend who has become a grandma. Congrats to Terry and her daughter/son in law Jennifer and Eric. A little girl. They didn't name her Mary Elizabeth so I'm not sure what their thought process is but hey I guess that's okay.

Happy Friday.

My New Best Friends

A few weeks ago I talked about how much I love Zappos, and the great shoes I got from there. Well a couple of days ago I received a book in the mail from Zappos. It is their 2009 Culture Book. In it, every employee has a chance to write about themselves. Some write about working at Zappos, some give recipes, some write about their families -- there is no rule. It's like a yearbook for the company. I want to work there except they are in Nevada and I am, well, in Minnesota. I have a fear that if I lived in Nevada I would end up wearing show girl outfits with gigantic feathers in my hair and singing "Copacabana." Doesn't sound so bad now that I see it in writing.

But the best thing about the book is that I'll bet at least 50 people signed the book and thanked me for saying I love Zappos and telling me they love my blog, etc. I feel like I belong to a new club -- Club Z.

Now, of course, working in marketing I know this is part of a ploy to keep me coming back. AND IT WORKS. Actually I'll keep going back because I like the products they offer and they have great customer service, but now I'm also going back because these are my new friends -- Zermon, Jessica R, Emily (who has a great signature), Marina, Grace, etc. etc.

So here's what I would write in the book for all of those Zappo folks: "Sure was fun being in homeroom with you. Have a great summer. See you in the fall. Don't do anything I wouldn't do." And of course:

2 Good

2 Be

4 Gotten

I'm Loretta Lynn

One of the drawbacks of living in a condo or apartment is you can't restart the furnace if you are cold. Our furnace was shut off last month and so it is cold and dark -- OMG I'm living in a coal mine.

On my walk with Freckles I met up with Zora. She's a new dog on the block and she was rescued from the Humane Society. When I first met her she was afraid of people and other dogs. Her owner said that she was found abandoned and they think she was abused so it was no wonder she was afraid. But today Zora came up to meet me and Freckles and her tail was wagging. In a very short time she has learned to give people a second chance. Wouldn't it be nice if people rebounded as quickly?

Maybe That's Why I Don't Feel Good

This is what I looked like 32 years ago. Yes, it's my anniversary and yes, I cropped out what's his name and yes I wasn't happy. Just looking at that picture I can see by the look on my face that I was thinking "What the hell did I just do?" You should see the look on the faces of my family. We look like a sketch from SNL "The Constipated Family."

Oh well water over the bridge (I'm more into flooding than flowing these days). On the other hand, I sure do look young huh? I was 23 - no one should get married when they are 23. When you are 23 you should be out having fun not picking out a china pattern. Glad I never did that. I would have only ended up throwing the dishes at him.

I do remember my friend Michelle singing "Annie's Song." I still like that song. It's one of those songs that you would like to have someone sing to you, that you wish would really happen to you. Kind of like this love classic.

I'm Dreaming of a Betty White Christmas

That should be the next Betty White special. If you didn't see Saturday Night Live you missed a fantastic show so either watch it again or watch if for the first time here. NBC also released a sketch that was cut due to time.

She was so funny and OMG for someone who is 88 years old she had a lot of energy. And I will never look at a muffin again without thinking of Betty White's Big Dusty Muffin.

She is my new inspiration (replacing Curious George). I want to grow old like she has. Much better than Laura Bush who recently announced that she loves to clean bath tubs. If I ever tell you that I love to clean bath tubs you are to take me out in a field and shoot me or put a pillow over my face, I won't even struggle. Yikes.

Well it's off to work. I know, I'm thankful I have a job.

Buy My Condo and I'll Put My Pants On

Here's a little hint for you, if you are taking pictures of your condo to sell, don't do it in your underwear.

I'm looking for a new place to live, either buy or rent. I can't decide which one. My biggest problem is finding a place that both Freckles and I can live. I'm amazed how many places don't take dogs. I guess I can understand because dogs can be quite noisy, especially if left alone all day. But Freckles doesn't make any sound during the day. The only time I hear her bark is when I come home and she's happy. And boy is she happy. Someone (who shall remain anonymous) suggested that I find a new home for Freckles. But I can't imagine any place I found would be a home I'd like if I couldn't share it with my sweet girl. So it's me and the dog or no one at all.

And by the way Happy Mom's Day to all of the moms out there. I am a dog mom so I guess I sort of count.

How Suite It Is?

Well I went to my first Twins game. Well I wasn't really at the game, I was in a suite. The company I work for was having a client event and I was there to get food and drink for our guests. I really didn't like being in the suite. I know it was certainly warm, and nice, and you would think it would be fun to be there, but it didn't feel like being part of the game. You are separate from everyone else. Guarded, and I mean guarded, by people who won't let the riff-raff in if they don't have a ticket. They're the suite nazis - "NO SUITE FOR YOU!"

Perhaps I was just not made for the suite life (sorry I had to say it) but it just didn't feel like any fun up there in the clouds. I kept think Marie Antoinette was going to come in, look at the masses in the cheap seats, and say "Let them eat cake." Of course the fact that I was there to serve my master, not to have any fun, may have added to the feeling of the room for me.

I think it's too bad that pro sports have become about the haves and the have nots. There were always better seats and the bleachers, but this isn't even close to that. This is about money, that's all it's about. If you have it you get to go to special clubs and special places. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised since sports is pretty much about money now, but I like to pretend it's not and unfortunately, at the new Target stadium, you can no longer pretend we are all in this together.

It is, on the other hand, quite an amazing stadium. But since it's the Target Field I think I should be able to buy some shampoo and toothpaste.

America's Next Top Model

I'm practicing my Tyra looks. What do you think? I'm looking sexy, angry, innocent, stupid. Did I nail it or what? Yes this marketing thing isn't working out the way I was hoping so I'm going to pursue a career as a model. I'm sure there is a market for overweight, middle-aged, asthmatic, goofy looking models. And if this doesn't work, then I am going to go after my dream job - a tap dancing proctologist.

Grandmas Are The Best

Today is my grandma's birthday. This is a picture taken probably in the early 1960s at the Nicollet Hotel (which is no longer around, as are all these women). The women are, from the left, my mom (with a fox mink that I remember still had the face and paws -- it was so gross), my grandma, their friend Helen, and my great aunt Edith who is obviously already a little tipsy. I love this picture not just for the women in it but because it is an era that is long past. This is how people dressed if they went downtown. Today I feel like I'm dressing up if I don't wear jeans.

My grandma, Louise Kelso Hay, was quite a woman. She never wore a pair of slacks in her adult life. I don't know if she had any as a child, but probably not. She was a tremendous seamstress and would make lined wool jackets on a manual, not electric, sewing machine that she had to operate with the foot pedal she would pump. I remember as a kid laying on the floor watching her work that pedal while she sewed. She made a lot of my clothes too. I loved the clothes but hated having to try them on and stand there while she pinned them up. She had a marvelous sense of humor and fun but was also sheer class and pure love. I don't remember her ever saying a cross word to me.

So happy birthday Grandma. I'd like to think these four ladies are together somewhere out there having lunch and playing bridge.

Vacation, Space Travel, and Purple Fever

Have you ever felt like you have all these "feelings" bottled up inside that you are going to explode? Or implode? I have a week of vacation scheduled at the end of May but I have a feeling I need to move that up a week or so. Or perhaps I should start today.

On another note (really, let's move on) I just heard that on this day in 1961 Alan Shepard became the first American in space. I was 6 and I remember at Robert Fulton there were these ginormous televisions set up in the hallways and we all went into the hall and watched the launching, in black and white. Now to be honest I know we did this for every space launch so I'm not sure if I actually remember this specific incident but I do remember those TVs and sitting on the wood floors watching men go into space. I think even as a kid that was pretty cool. Of course not as cool as going outside for recess or eating paste or the smell of paper fresh off the mimeograph. I've often wondered if all of us who were sniffing these pages whose purple ink was still wet were getting high off of some fumes. Perhaps that was my first drug of choice. This could explain a lot!

Wake Me In 10 Minutes

I am way too tired to be allowed out in public. I might do something that I can't be held accountable for. Really I think I should stay home and sleep not because I want to, but because it's what is right for America.

I had to be at work at 7:30 yesterday and I have to be there that early again today. Why you are asking (or not asking). We are having seminars and for some unknown reason I got stuck with planning them. You have to get a place, send invitations, keep track of who is coming, make hotel reservations for the speakers, blah, blah, blah. And then there are the questions: How many box lunches do we need? How many microphones? Where are the bathrooms? Do you want fries with that? How am I suppose to know? (Oh god, another question.) But my favorite question of all was when I was asked if there was a place where someone could use their breast pump. I didn't know what to tell him.

I'm Late

It is 6:56 and I need to be out the door at 7:30. Sorry but that's the way it is. Someone, I believe it was Freckles, turned off the snooze alarm and now I'm rushing like crazy. Talk with you later, gator.

Smile

I participated in the New York Times Moment in Time project this morning. They asked people all of the world to take a picture at 15:00 UT which is apparently 10:00 a.m. in Minneapolis (I'm very happy it wasn't 5:00 a.m. in Minneapolis because I'm not sure I would have been so enthusiastic.) So I went down to Lake of the Isles and took a bunch of pictures from 10:00 to about 10:03. I love photography and would like to spend more time taking pictures. Of course that could tear me away from television and playing Flood so I'd hate to have that happen.

After playing Margaret White (see you'll learn something if you read this blog) I went to FedEx Office (formerly FedEx Kinko's which was formerly Kinko's) and had a Spinal Tap moment. If you've never seen the movie you should but for those of you who have remember the scene where the gigantic Stonehenge rocks are suppose to descend from the ceiling and little people were to dance around it? Well I went to get the posters for my firm's event tomorrow and was expecting large posters and got rather small posters. I'm sure they'll work but I guess I didn't have to clean out my trunk to fit them in there. Oh well, the trunk is clean and life will go on.

Happy May Day

So I'm exhausted from leaving May baskets at all of your doors, ringing the bell, and then running away. You didn't get your basket? Well I blame it on your neighbors, no wait I blame it on the bossa nova. In fact I blame everything on the bossa nova from now on.

I suppose tonight I have to go to the gentlemen's clubs and do some May pole dancing. That should close them up for good.

Have you ever just kind of not cared about anything. That's how I feel today. I really don't like this feeling. It makes me want to lay on the couch and do nothing but wallow. I can be a good little wallower too. But I think I'll just skip wallowing today and go do something, anything -- like the bossa nova (the dance of love).